Author’s Note

(Revised 11-22-2009)

Things happen in their own good time, and often not as soon as we wish, or as we wish. After all, you just can’t push a river. It flows at its own pace. And, while you can lead a horse to water, you cannot make him drink.

Many people all over the world have been made aware of this web site and message, but very few have read much of it. And most people who have even heard of my assertion that I am the son of man chosen and sent by God cannot believe it, and they make erroneous assumptions about me.

Not that I blame them. I understand why Jesus of Nazareth foresaw that I would first be rejected by my generation. I understand why the prophet Isaiah foresaw that I would fear my work has been in vain and for nought. I understand why most people, especially educated humanists and humanitarians, are quick to dismiss me as just "another religious nut with a messianic complex." And I understand why most religious people reject me because I refute some of their most cherished beliefs.

I also understand why some of my most vehement critics and accusers on the "Christian Right" label me as a "leftist bleeding heart liberal," which is ironic. After all, like Jesus I expose and rebuke the greedy rich, the cheating loan shark money lenders, the religious hypocrites, and the "Nicolaitans" who lust and even fight for worldly power, wealth, and domain. And I understand why many of those hypocrites claim to serve God.

Therefore, while on the other pages I’ve told you what my role is and how and why they’ve been misled, on this page I’ll tell you more about me.

Even though in 1971 at the age of 30 I was carried away in spirit into the Divine Light and directly witnessed the Reality of God, I came "back down to earth" long ago. I am only too human, and I am prone to egotism, like many other men. In fact, that is especially true in my case, because it has fallen upon me to serve as the main messenger for the Spirit of truth, for God’s sake. You may be able to imagine what a dilemma that has presented me with, and how difficult it has been for me to judge when I know we should not. But I doubt you can even imagine how difficult and painful it’s been.

Nevertheless, I needed to fulfill my mission. And, in certain respects, even though I am the son of man who must deliver judgment, I feel like a parent who chastises their child and says, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." That is so true.

But, fortunately, the truth hurts only me and the relative few who have caused so much conflict and division, and so much harm and loss to others. The truth is good news for the great majority of people. And, while some people unwittingly accuse me of being a trouble-maker, the fact is that my words will ultimately put all trouble-makers in their place so that we may finally have unity, justice, and peace.

For example, here is the truth: The true wealth of a nation and a people is not what they individually have in a bank, but what they produce by working together, in concert, cooperatively and collaboratively, sharing and sharing alike, using the common wealth for the common good.

Just as it takes a village to raise a child, so it takes all the people in a village to work together to take care of the village for the benefit of all. Furthermore, as it is for a village, so it is for a neighborhood, town, city, nation, and our whole world. And when everyone realizes that, we will all become wealthy in spirit, and relatively wealthy materially.

Americans used to be a little more wealthy in that respect.

Sadly, and unfortunately, during the last few decades the majority has become more subjugated and worse off financially, while a relative few have become exceedingly wealthy, materially.

We, the people, must turn that around, and my work shows you exactly why and how we can and will do that, peacefully, with the cooperation of the great, vast majority, with grumbling only from the relative few who will not like losing any of the power, wealth and domain they have gained by hook and by crook, at the expense of others.

As you can tell if you’re read many of the pages on this site, even though I think Barack Obama is the best man for the job of U.S. President at this time, I also feel at this point that he has been far too easy on those who have caused our problems --- especially the most greedy and corrupt of the wealthiest few who are culpable of so much wrong doing and have caused so much harm and loss to others.

Of course, I understand why President Obama has tried to be nice to them, because he is trying to quell the partisan conflict and bickering that became so prevalent during the last 27 years and especially during the last eight years. But, the right-wing neo-conservative extremists are sore losers and they have not reciprocated, and his kindness is simply wasted on them. And besides, at the very least, they and their financial backers really deserve to be soundly rebuked and shamed for what they’ve done during all that time Reaganism and Bushism reigned. In fact, they should be required to pay a huge debt that they owe to society, in more ways than one.

Granted, Obama has said a lot of what needed to be said, in terms of politics, but the American people need to be much more informed because many have been terribly misled and even duped by Reaganite/Bushite deception, propaganda and ideology. And, even though Obama is certainly the best man to be U.S. President right now, and will do everything he can to get America back on the right path, I trust that at some time during his presidency he will get the message and join People For The New Reformation. I trust he will learn and realize that even though he embodies the best of what the centuries-old partisan political tradition in America can produce, it is inherently divisive and is too easily corrupted, and it, along with the presidential form of monarchy, will in due time become obsolete. In other words, even though I believe Obama is and will be a reasonable, good, beneficent "king," and so much better than the last one that everyone will be amazed, I trust he will be the last individual to sit on the "throne" so that all the people may become joint heirs to it.

You see, our destiny is to have actual government of, by and for the people — not government by an individual head of state, nor government of, by and for a particular political party or coalition of parties, nor government of, by and for the rich. (See the pages on Partisan Politics, Declaration of Independence, and How the Meek Shall Inherit the Earth.)

We will have genuinely representational, democratic government that is truly of, by and for the people — the vast majority of humble, gentle, peaceful people, who shall inherit the earth. That is the fulfillment of the real prophecies of all the world’s religions, and it is our destiny. And it will be fulfilled as soon as enough people get the message from the Spirit of truth.

Who am I to say so? Just a messenger, from your midst and of your brethren. In my private, personal life, except for my growing list of disabilities, I’ve been an average, typical man for the last 20 years. I’m a nobody, really, and as I’ve grown old I’ve had to face the fact that I am often a miserable excuse of a man, with many flaws, weaknesses, etc., and I am often full of grief and sorrow. The prophet Isaiah knew me very well. I am what I am, God help me, and I certainly would not call myself a prophet. Yet, on the other hand, I am a genuine witness of God and I understand real prophecies. I also understand divine intent, and I suppose that’s why I was chosen to deliver this message.

But, because I do not write what most people want or expect, and because I cannot and will not speak out or seek personal power from behind a podium or pulpit, most people reject the message I deliver (as the prophets Isaiah and Jesus foresaw and foretold). And, unfortunately, it seems that human nature is to want a conquering hero in person, and to cling to traditions and man-made doctrines and myths, avoid change, not take action unless and until conditions reach critical crisis mode, and then, all too often, hastily grasp at straws.

However, the rejection will end in due time. One day, perhaps any day now, this work will be sufficiently convincing to an influential person, and they will "break" this story. Then the whole world will become aware of this message, and my job will be done.

But, there will be a lot of questions and discussions about who and what I am, and many scholars and noted authorities on Judaic, Christian, Islamic, and other scriptures will provide all kinds of opinions and interpretations of scriptures, either to acknowledge that I am what I say I am, or to try to discredit me.

Those who understand that God is the eternal, unseen, formless, omnipresent Great Spirit, the Supreme Consciousness, the Holy One, the Divine Light-Energy-Source of our existence and the Universal Divinity "Itself," recognize the Spirit of truth in my work. They understand that we should at least treat all others as we would want to be treated if we were them.

Unfortunately, those who believe that only they know God, and that their religion (or their idea of religion) is the only "true" religion, reject the message, refuse to acknowledge it, and quote scriptural "evidence" to try to discredit me. Not understanding real prophecy or divine intent, they cling to the doctrines of men, not understanding that I am the servant-messenger sent by the Spirit of truth to provide the divine intervention that will stop and prevent them from fighting each other over the nature and name of God.

Therefore, even though it’s the message that is important and not the messenger, and even though it is the truth and nothing but the truth that will unite, empower and liberate humanity, I must address the issue of who and what I am, and trust that the people will realize the truth. For even though I am only human and certainly do not claim I am infallible, I am what I am. I am the prophesied one, and I must say so.

On other pages (particularly on Prophecies Re: The "One To Come," The Messiah / Moshiach / Son of Man), I’ve explained what I think are the most relevant prophecies about me are, and the page titled Prodigal Son of Man provides a very brief summary of my life. But, on this page I will tell you a little more, because I think you should know certain things about me, so there is no mistake.

But, before I "speak of myself," I should clarify what the Christ Jesus meant by the following statements.

"He that speaks of himself seeks his own glory. But he that seeks the glory of who sent him, the same is true, and no unrighteousness is in him." (John 7:18)

"When he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth. For he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak; and he will show you things to come. He shall glorify me, for he shall receive of mine, and shall declare it to you." (John 16:13-14)

I am the prophesied son of man, the authorized messenger for that Spirit of truth. I tell you who and what I am not to glorify myself, but to glorify God and the Ancient One (Christ-Avatar-Buddha, etc.) who is in heaven with God. I bear his testimony, and declare it to you, and I do so anonymously to emphasize that I glorify God and the Ancient One, not myself, and to also emphasize that it is the truth, and nothing but the truth, that shall unite us, empower us all, and set us all free.

It is important that you know that even though I am a true witness of God who spiritually "anointed" me in the Divine Light-Holy Spirit, I do not speak of myself as a Christ or Avatar or Buddha. Rather, I serve the Ancient One who has gone by all those titles. There is a very good reason why Jesus warned us against anyone claiming to be the Christ, or anyone claiming to know were the Christ is, or will be. That’s because there is a new paradigm and new covenant with God, and the Christhood-Avatarhood-Buddhahood, etc., may be bestowed in various degrees on all human beings who realize it through divine revelation. The Christ-Avatar-Buddha is in us all, and we all may realize it when we are blessed with the opening of the seven seals of revelation and true Self-Realization.

I am but a servant of God the Holy One, who by any other name is still God. And I am also a messenger for the Spirit of truth and the Ancient One (also known as the Christ, Avatar and other titles), who is in heaven with God.

The fact is that only God is the Holy One and Savior, and, as Moses wrote, God is not a man, nor a son of man, and I tell you that because I am the son of man who fulfills Judeo-Christian prophecy. But, it has taken me 38 years, after first witnessing and being spiritually anointed by God, to come to this point. And I know very well why it is written that God, like any good parent, chastises loved ones, and that a true servant of God should not grow weary of being chastised. For while the Spirit of truth nourishes the spirit, it prunes the ego.

That is why I tell you that I am only human, that I am from your midst and of your brethren, and that I am only what I am. I readily confess I am not "holier than thou." Of course, some will accuse me of hypocrisy for saying that while I declare I am the son of man and messenger of God. But I say what I am because it’s true, and I know the folly of getting on that "high horse" of arrogance, self-righteousness and self-importance. In fact, I am painfully aware of how foolish that is, because I have been knocked down many, many times, and in many different ways.

I believe it is important that you know that. And you should know that I have sometimes regarded myself as a failure, because that seems to be confirmed by the continuing rejection of my work. For even though the prophet Isaiah foresaw and wrote that I would deliver my work before me but fear that my work is in vain and for nought because it is at first rejected, that did not prevent me from fearing that it is indeed in vain and for nought. And, even though the Christ Jesus foresaw and foretold that I would at first be rejected by my generation, that did not prevent me from fearing that the rejection means I have simply failed.

I have continued because even though it would still appear that I have failed, things are often not as they appear. When I overcome my negativity, I realize my egocentric fear of failure or error is merely the flip side of my egocentric notion that "I" have done something great. Fortunately, I realize that both sides are part of the illusion of duality, and neither one is real for a true servant of God. Jesus said, "Of myself I do nothing." And that helped me realize it is vain folly to allow my ego to take credit for the good news, or let my conscience blame myself for judging bigots, hypocrites and wrongdoers. I try to put myself aside, let go of my egotism and its idea of success or failure, or judgmental self-righteousness, and let God guide me in ways that often amaze me and make me very grateful to be of service. But I have to be honest. It’s been difficult, and painful.

I am 68 years old now, but since I was stricken with my first disabling affliction 32 years ago according to the prophecies of Isaiah and Jesus, my body has aged more rapidly than it would have. But I’ve overcome much, and for nearly two and a half decades I’ve been trying in many different ways to get this message across to people. Of course, my earlier efforts were, as I look at them now, foolish, lacking and grossly inadequate. And I can see now that even the five books that were published from 2002 to 2006 were certainly far from perfect, to say the least. But then, I’m not a professional writer, and that’s not how I’ve earned my living.

However, I’ve learned a lot in the last two years, and I hope that the revised and expanded highlights of the message on this web site are better, and might sufficiently serve as the prophesied message that the world needs. And, to be frank, I believe that it is still rejected by most people because they are too quick to dismiss me as a religious crackpot, or because they think they know better for whatever reason, or because they belong to spiritually blind flocks that have been misled by "religious" bigots, false shepherds and false prophets.

But, even though the rejection has made me question, criticize, and doubt myself, it has also helped me. During the seven years since I was able to publish my first book and web site, and advocate my work however I could and still remain anonymous, the rejection made me face up to and correct any errors I became aware of, try my very best to improve the message highlights on this web site, and even expand the message somewhat.

My hope, though, is that the message will be accepted and I can stop writing, because being critical, judgmental and finding fault is not good for my heart (I suffer from congestive heart failure and heart disease, among many other things). But, it has done my heart good to not work so much on my writing here, and instead focus more on my "first works," my real love and best talent, which is music, and I began to do that in the Spring of 2008.

I’ve written all this, and what is in my books, because I was duty-bound to do so according to real prophecy. As I will discuss below, when I was 30 years old I was carried away in spirit to that high and holy place where God inhabits eternity, and I went through the tunnel and into the Divine Light of God. I became one with God, knew the Divine Universal Love of God, felt the ecstacy of God, opened the Book of Life, and was there for what seemed an eternity before I came back down to earth and back into this body.

I am not that Light, but I bear witness to that Light, which is God, even though I feel I am not worthy. I am a prodigal son of man, and many of my mistakes were made because I should have known better, even though many were made because I was simply and unwittingly naive, or blissfully ignorant or unaware.

You see, when I was between the age of 30 and 36, I knew it was vain folly to try to convince anyone that their political and/or religious beliefs are wrong. I understood that we should judge not, lest we be so judged in turn, and we should love even our enemy, because our enemy is often a reflection of our self. But, when I was 39, I began to learn how and why I must deliver judgment, as was prophesied, and it is my mission to correct those who have been divided and misled.

I have many critics because of that. But some haven’t even bothered to read the message and yet still accuse me of being a deluded religious nut with a messianic complex. That doesn’t bother me because I understand why. They are skeptical of and turned off by anything "religious," because so many religious bigots and hypocrites have given religion a bad name.

Another criticism is the claim that "a true prophet would not have to revise and improve" the message he delivers. But how could anyone claim they know what a true prophet would do today to explain God’s will and show you things to come? And the fact is that, given this wonderful medium, the Internet, it only makes sense that I take advantage of the opportunity to make revisions to improve my writing, and to further clarify and explain things as I learn of questions, concerns and criticisms. And why wouldn’t I use this electronic medium to reach all over the world, and provide this free message? It was, after all, prophesied by the Christ Jesus, who spoke of this message from the son of man being seen all over, like "lightening."

The criticism and accusation that has bothered me, however, was put forth by someone who wrote: "You are what you accuse others of being." That bothered me because in most cases when that statement is made, it is true. In fact, I’ve even said it myself, and I’ve also said that your enemy is often just a reflection of your self. I know that very well, and it’s why the Christ Jesus advised to love even your enemy.

I realize that I can be seen as a hypocrite for judging religious bigots and hypocrites, even while I remind everyone else that we should judge not. That bothered me too, and it caused a terrible dilemma for me -- one that I struggled for many years to overcome. I finally began to overcome it about a year ago, after a marvelous revelation and discovery, and that began a series of more revelations and discoveries that have enabled me to start to overcome most of the other doubts and fears that plagued me for so many years.

However, even though I still have not completely overcome my doubts and fears, they have never deterred me for very long from striving to fulfill my mission, because I’ve known in my heart and soul since 1971 that I was called by and witnessed God, and I’ve known since 1979 what my mission is. As you will see, that’s when I received a miraculous sign from God and first started learning about real prophecies in the Bible.

I’ve been working to fulfill my mission for a very long time, but most religious people reject me because they think they already know the truth about prophecies. Most religious "authorities," particularly those who claim to be the only "true" Jews or Christians or Muslims, are quite sure they know how prophecy will be fulfilled, and some of them even think they know when.

But, they all have different ideas about it, and there is a very good reason why all their religious texts speak of one to come who will deliver the message that issues judgment, guides humanity unto the real truth, and shows what is to come. And even the messenger does not know exactly when the message will be accepted and received to fulfill prophecy. He only knows that he must deliver it, and that he will first be rejected by his generation and suffer many things, just as the prophets Isaiah and Jesus foretold.

False prophets and false shepherds (leaders) do not understand that, either because they've been led to believe in other scenarios, or they have their own ideas, which tend to be theocratic and sectarian. Some of them even tend to be exclusive, because they judge, hate and virtually condemn all those they judge as "godless unbelievers" or "infidels." They are so invested in their own self-importance and self-righteousness that they cannot see what they have become.

Of course, there are a number of good and true spiritual teachers in the world, and some of them can tell you much of what I have to tell you, because they have been given the gift of revelation and realization of some divine, eternal, universal truths. In fact, some of them are far more learned and knowledgeable than I am in some respects, and they have much to teach those who wish to learn from them.

But, the prophesied messenger of God and the Spirit of truth is different, and unique. Of course he must be a spiritual teacher, but he must also deliver the judgment that will save and change the whole world, and he must also tell you what is to come.

The other true spiritual teachers do not judge. They are very wise, but they are very humble and meek. That is, they are loving, gentle and non-judgmental. They are not fault-finders. They do not judge or criticize or rebuke wrong-doers. Rather, they are forgiving and accepting, and they offer their wisdom for the edification of those who have been led astray and need redemption. However, they do not seek or recruit students. They accept students who come to them with a sincere desire to learn the truth, and they do not ask for financial contributions or remuneration. Therefore, you should beware of pretenders and imposters who claim to know and serve God but do not fit that standard or criteria.

Speaking of standards, as I wrote in my fourth book there is a list of questions that a would-be follower, student or disciple should ask before joining a religious leader or guru or spiritual teacher and his/her group or congregation. The total of "yes" answers to the following questions could provide a comparative "rating" of religious leaders, spiritual teachers, or gurus: (1) Is what the leader/teacher/guru offers free, and if there is a charge for educational materials, is it minimal and reasonable? (2) Is the leader/teacher/guru not rich and does he/she live in a modestly priced home and avoid the temptation of profiting and having more personal wealth than is needed for him/her to live in reasonable comfort and dignity? (3) Is it unnecessary to join the organization in order to have access to the teachings, and are there books, tapes, educational materials, open meetings, etc. that openly transmit the teaching or knowledge to the public? (4) Is it easy to leave the leader/teacher/guru and the group, and are ex-disciples, ex-students and critics of the leader/teacher/guru treated kindly and fairly? (5) Are members allowed free contact with their families and old friends? (6) Are the teachings in harmony with universal and eternal truths at the core of all religions and with the basic and most essential spiritual teachings of the most enlightened and well known spiritual teachers throughout history? (7) Is the organization non-authoritarian, and are there signs of democracy whereby questioning, debate, and thinking for oneself are welcomed? (8) Is the legitimacy of the leader/teacher/guru anchored in a tradition that points back to previous teachers or gurus? (9) Does the leader/teacher/guru refrain from claiming to be, or to know, the one and only route to enlightenment or salvation? (10) Does the organization respect all religions and encourage students to learn universal truths, rather than resort to psychologically coercive or brainwashing-style techniques to lead students to believe that "we are saved" or "chosen" and that everyone else is doomed?

Now of course, these ratings are merely guidelines to consider, but potential students and disciples would be well-advised to steer clear of becoming involved with low scoring leaders/teachers/gurus. Traditionally, almost all genuine religious leaders, spiritual teachers, and gurus would have had little difficulty in scoring at least 70 percent (seven) "yes" answers.

There are many other spiritual teachers who understand the core, universal truths that are common to all religions, and many teach a combination of religious philosophies and spiritual teachings with an emphasis on universal love, peace, freedom, compassion, understanding, tolerance, charity, forgiveness, and pacifism. They understand the teachings of Solomon, Jesus, Gautama (the Buddha), Lao Tzu, Mohammed, Ghandi, King, and all the others who learned and taught the eternal, universal truths.

There are also many good teachers who operate within a specific religious context and use a specific religion’s scriptures as their main teaching aid. However, the good ones also understand and emphasize the eternal, universal, core principles and values that are common to all religions, and point out how and why all religions are related. They do NOT claim that their religion, or their idea of religion, is superior to all others. They teach that we are ALL ONE.

If you lean more toward the Eastern teachings, there are many teachers to choose from. There are many good spiritual teachers who lean toward Buddhism and/or Hinduism, but also understand the teachings of Solomon, Jesus, Lao Tzu, Mohammed, and other great spiritual teachers.

There have been and still are enlightened spiritual teachers in the Hindu tradition in India, even though there also have been and are pretenders, just as there are pretenders in every religion. I should say, though, that those in the West should understand the traditional Hindu context in order to understand its greatest teachers. That is, enlightened gurus who have been or are regarded as Avatars or Siddhas may speak as the Ancient One or Holy One, but do so for the Holy One and Ancient One that is within and above us all. But then, Westerners, especially Christians, should also understand that’s what the Christ Jesus did too. For even though his apostles apparently did not fully understand that, it is why Jesus said, "Before Abraham was, I am," and "I" am in you, and you are in me, and we are in God. We all have the potential of realizing that the True Self is the Inner Self of All, and that we are ONE in Spirit.

I should also tell you that there are some other spiritual teachers who are teaching many of the core universal truths, but couch their teaching with inaccurate claims. There are many making all different kinds of claims about knowing or being a Christ and/or a Kalki Avatar or Siddha and/or a Maitreya Buddha, etc. And some are very well meaning. I haven’t read all their work, but I’ve read enough to think they may understand much of religion and spiritual teachings. It seems to me, upon a cursory examination of their work, that some of them recognize the cause of most of the problems of the world, and they understand certain parts of the solution, advocating for equal rights, freedom, universal health care and education, etc. Therefore, some of the information they provide may have value for those who are drawn to their teaching. At least they are trying to bring people together on a path of fairness, peace and equality, and that’s good.

However, none of them fulfill Judeo-Christian prophecy. That's why Jesus warned us against those claiming to be Christ, or claiming to know who and where the Christ is or will be on earth.

That’s because Jesus knew I would serve the Christ-Avatar-Buddha-Mahdi-Saoshyant-Ancient One, who is in heaven with God. The Ancient One is now the Spirit of truth that will eventually enlighten us all, and it is God and the Ancient One and the Spirit of truth that I serve.

I realize that it may seem self-important and self-righteous of me to assert that I am the prophesied witness and servant of God, the son of man, and the messenger for the Spirit of truth, but I must say I am he. But, I am special only in the respect that I have done what I was called and chosen by God to do. And God only knows why I was chosen.

Nevertheless, as I explained in Memoirs of a Prodigal Son of Man, I witnessed God and was called at age 30 in 1971. I was carried away in spirit to that high and holy place where God inhabits eternity. I had fortuitously realized the nature of divine, universal love, and that triggered a series of revelations that culminated in my being drawn up in spirit into God's presence. When I witnessed God I knew the total ecstasy and overwhelming love and understanding that comes with being in the Divine Light of God's presence. I knew that we all are in fact one with God, and one with each other in spirit. And for many years I knew the peace and joy of recognizing the divine reality that is within and right here at hand. But it wasn't as if I wore "rose colored glasses" and ignored reality. It was that I actually saw the good in everything and every one, and that was my very natural focus and perception.

However, in 1971 I didn’t know why I was called. I knew the reality of God, and the overwhelming ecstacy of God’s love. But, I knew little about politics, and partisan political conflict was the farthest thing from my mind. I also knew very little about religion and even less about spiritual teachings. And I had no direction. All I had was a deep desire to express love to people, and an even deeper desire to see if there was a way I could return to God in the same way. That is why I began to try to find out if others had experienced what I had, and, if so, to see what they had to say about it. That's when I started learning what human beings had written about divinity and spiritual things. I read about many spiritual teachings, but I didn’t even start to read the Christian Bible until 1975. And at that time all I saw were the errors in it, and the judgmental, condemning and destructive aspects of it.

At that time I really thought I already knew it all, anyway. And, in a way, I did. But I was foolish, and I had gradually let my witnessing God "go to my head." I had developed a misguided messianic complex, and four years after I witnessed God, at age 34, I unwittingly sought worldly personal power because I imagined myself as a great leader.

Then, at age 36 I was stricken and afflicted with a disabling disease and confined to a wheelchair, but I didn't know why, and I didn't learn enough from it, at least not at first. But about nine months later, as I was fasting out in the desert beside the Colorado River, all of a sudden one day I wrote 12 songs. I had sung and played the guitar since I was 25, but I had not been able to write my own songs. Suddenly I could, even though I didn’t realize at that time how very far ahead of their time they were.

In 1979 at age 38, two years after being stricken and afflicted, and after a long period of isolation, meditation and study, and after 40 more days of fasting, I received a miraculous sign from God and was shown some crucial things about Judeo-Christian prophecy in the Bible, about the son of man who is God’s chosen servant, who is first stricken and afflicted, and suffers many things.

The miraculous sign appeared on the same night that I started being divinely guided in discovering some of the most crucial Bible prophecies, and the sign and the direct guidance lasted for three days and three nights. It started one night when I discovered a certain amazing prophecy and just happened to glance out the window and saw a gigantic five-pointed star, shimmering brightly with all the colors of the rainbow. It was so incredibly huge that at first I thought it must have been a man-made structure, either on top of the nearby mountain or hanging from a blimp or something. I also thought it must have been man-made because it seemed rather linear, like when you draw a five-pointed star with a continuous line, with one point upward and two downward. To my surprise, however, when I went outside to see it more clearly, I saw that it was actually a heavenly body, twinkling very brightly. So I watched it for about an hour, and it moved across the sky just like all the other stars. It was there the next night too, only a little bit smaller, and after a few more nights it had gradually diminished to the same size as all the other largest stars.

At that time I began to learn and realize why I was called and chosen as the witness and servant of God and messenger for the Spirit of truth. But that was just the beginning of my most relevant education, and I had much to learn. You see, unfortunately, having discovered who and what I am, I let it go to my head. I indulged in fantasy and self-delusion, and I foolishly imagined myself as a great guru with many devotees and "gopis" (female lovers). But, no one saw me as anything but a man who had been stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted, just as the prophet Isaiah foresaw.

I've come back "down to earth" since then, but I've suffered many other things since then because it's been difficult for me to not feel self-important and self-righteous, and I unwittingly continued in my folly. As Isaiah foresaw and foretold, that is why I was stricken and afflicted in the first place, and why I have suffered so many things, even though my suffering is apparently not only as a consequence of my own errors and my "covetousness and willfulness," as Isaiah put it, but also for the "transgressions of my people." And that is why Jesus foresaw and foretold that I would "first suffer many things and be rejected by my generation."

But, even so, I deserve my lot. It is, in large part, karmic justice, because I have not only been a covetous and willful fool, but many years ago I was a slothful and undisciplined student, and at times, as I said, I have been a miserable excuse of a man (and still am on bad days). And, unlike many people, I cannot say I have no regrets. I regret all the times I was thoughtless and inconsiderate of others’ feelings, said things I should not have said, and done things I should not have done. I regret my mistakes – even those I committed unwittingly.

I am, nevertheless, a genuine witness of God, as I’ve also said. And all of those conditions in my life were prophesied by Isaiah and Jesus. I couldn't really believe it when I first began to learn some of those prophecies in 1979, but ten years later, after much self-doubt and wavering, and after gradually learning more of what was actually prophesied, I finally understood and accepted my full responsibility. That's why during the years since then I have steadily and increasingly been striving to serve as the messenger of God, even though I knew I would be rejected by my generation.

I honestly do not know whether that means that the message will not be accepted until after I die, or after my generation has passed, or any day now. Only God knows.

But, if it is accepted while I’m still alive, I am willing to risk my life for this, which would be the case if my identity is somehow revealed by someone who reads my memoirs, figures out who I am, and betrays me. I fervently hope that doesn't happen, but I realize that is a possibility, and in that event I would just have to go into seclusion. I will still try to remain hidden from public view, and I will still not become a public figure. That was prophesied by Isaiah, and it is consistent with my natural inclination. I've told my life story only because you should know that I have been a fool and am just a fallible human being. That is why I explained fully in my memoirs why I am a contrite, prodigal son of man, as Isaiah foresaw.

I think it is important that I tell you that now, 38 years after I was called and witnessed God, almost 32 years since I was stricken and afflicted with a disabling disease, and after suffering many other things and being tempered by that suffering, I continue to learn how to put myself aside, recognize that of myself I do nothing, and be guided by the Spirit of truth.

It’s not "natural" and I don't always succeed, as is surely obvious in my writing, because I still tend to be an egocentric man, like many other men. I came back down to earth and normal consciousness long ago, and it's a real effort to allow my conscience and the Spirit of truth to prune or temper my ego. And I’ve often failed, because my righteous anger has tended to rise commensurate with the amount of suffering in the world due to the greed, corruption, bigotry, hypocrisy, hate and violence of divisive but influential leaders who lead their blind flocks astray. That's why I've continued to revise what I've written on this site, not only to update it and try to improve it, but also to try to temper my writing as best I could. I thank God for the Internet and World Wide Web, because web sites can be revised, while what is written in books cannot be changed. That's too bad, and I hope people will overlook any errors or unfair misjudgments in the books.

As I said, I am painfully aware of the hypocrisy of my judging others while I remind everyone else that we should not judge others. I am painfully aware that judging damages one’s own mental and physical health, and that anger is self-destructive. After all, as the wise Solomon wrote: "An angry man will suffer the consequences and pay a penalty; For if you rescue him, you will have to do it again." That is why having to write this message has been so damaging to me personally, and why I have had repeated heart and other health problems.

The most damaging to me has been my anger, which bewildered me when it arose on certain occasions. It happened twice in 1978. I didn’t know at the time that I was in denial and had tried to suppress my grief after my mother died in 1975, after my father died in 1976, and after I suffered my first affliction when I was stricken with a disabling disease in 1977 and lost the use of my legs. I didn’t realize that anger can come out inappropriately and overblown when you have not allowed yourself to grieve after such losses. And then my anger arose on certain occasions in the 1980s. As I explained in my memoirs, that was mainly because of rise of the Reaganites and the so-called "Christian Right" and "Moral Majority" and their hypocrisy, bigotry and wrong-doing in the name of religion and patriotism. Then there was the rise of neighborhood gangsters, the Israeli Government’s iniquity, the Bush Regime’s deception and iniquity, and Muslim terrorists. But, thank God, during the last year I’ve realized how harmful anger and grief and sorrow has been to me. That’s why I hope I can stop writing soon and let this work be finished, because it’s killing me. And besides, I often think it has all been in vain and for nought anyway.

I keep in mind that even Jesus, in the last moments of his life, said: "My God, why have you forsaken me?" And he echoed the words that King David had written in Psalm 22. For all true servants of God realize they are not God. They acknowledge that they are only human, and they accept that God’s will is not their own.

Keeping the big secret of who I am and what I am doing here has also been damaging to me, and it has probably caused some of my suffering. And even though most of the many maladies I've been afflicted with are not life-threatening, my heart disease and congestive heart failure are. But, thank God, modern medicine, alternative medicine, herbal remedies, open heart bypass surgery and a pacemaker/defibrilator have prolonged my life so far, as the prophet Isaiah foresaw and foretold. But only God and the Ancient One know how much longer I will live, and I can only trust and have faith that I will be able to do everything I should do before I give up the ghost and leave this body.

Still, this is very relevant to me: "For thus says the high and lofty One that inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: I dwell in the high and holy place, with him that is of a contrite and humbled spirit; to revive the spirit of the humble [and meek], and to revive the heart of the contrite ones. For I will not contend for ever, neither will I be always angry. For the iniquity of his covetousness was I angry, and struck him. I hid me, and was angry, and he went on willfully in the ways of his heart. (But) I have seen his ways, and will heal him: I will lead him also, and restore comforts unto him and to his mourners." (Isaiah 57:15-21) And God shall "prolong his days." (Isaiah 53:10)

I have been healed in many ways, and my life has been prolonged many times during the 32 years since being stricken with my first life-threatening affliction. God may prolong my life longer, and may even heal me more. I don’t know. Only God knows. But as I understand real prophecies, my work will be accepted and widely known, which is why when I die, or long after I die, God will comfort all my mourners.

Thank God, last Spring (of 2008) I finally realized that I should do the "first works" – my songs, and record them before I die. I wrote 21 songs between 1978 and 1984, but shelved them in 1984 when the "Religious Right" and the "Neo-Conservatives" were so clearly and solidly in power. But, finally, by the Spring of 2008 it became apparent that the political tide was turning. So I tweaked the song lyrics to reflect my current thinking, dusted off my guitar and started practicing, and finally completed a recording of 10 of the songs in December, on a little portable 4-track tape recorder in my home.

But, I wasn’t satisfied with it because I thought I could do better, and it had a couple of slight recording flaws. My guitar playing was even a little out of sync with drums on one song. Still, I settled for it and had 500 CDs made, because I thought I was soon going to give up the ghost. And then I was even more unsatisfied when the replicating company that made the 500 CDs put a couple more flaws in it.

Since then, though, in February, March and April 2009, after I started feeling somewhat better with a pacemaker adjustment, I produced an improved second recording, which is identified as such. It’s still not anywhere near as good as I’d like, but it’s the best I could do given my physical problems and limitations.

If my life is prolonged even further and I am still able, I’d like to produce a second album and CD with the rest of my songs. I’m not very optimistic about that, though, considering the way I feel. It was just a good thing that the Spirit of truth put it in my mind to do my "first works," at long last while I could, because my health has been precarious, and performing and recording was difficult, not only because of my circumstances, but because I have bad days when my heart causes me shortness of breath and light-headedness, and sometimes beats irregularly and heavily. It has also decreased in its ability to pump blood and oxygen through my body because of worsening heart failure and ischemia. That sometimes causes me anxiety, not because I’m afraid to die, but because I have been and still am afraid of not sufficiently or properly completing my mission.

Part of my problem is that I’ve often allowed the critic and accuser (within me and out there) to get me down and dislike myself for being judgmental. I realized I must try harder to convince myself that I am lovable even though I had to deliver the judgment and find who is at fault. That's caused me to have nothing but contempt for certain people in this world, and that's not healthy. But, after all, even Jesus hated greedy money lenders, hypocrites, and "Nicolaitans."

I know that God and the Ancient One in heaven know my works, my labor and my patience, and how I cannot bear those who are greedy, corrupt, selfish, self-righteous, malicious and evil. God knows I have judged and tried them, along with those who claim to know and serve God but do not, and have found them liars. And God knows I have not given up trying to deliver the message, because I hate the wrongdoers, just as Jesus did.

But, even so, it's very difficult not to hate myself for it, because I know better than to hate. I suffer great guilt and self-doubt because I changed when I started writing seriously as the judge I had to be. So I must try to heal myself, by trying to forgive myself and realize that God still loves me.

That’s why I must stop writing here, before death forces me to stop, and I hope the message is sufficient in the sight of God. Millions of people have been made aware of it during the last 30 years, and especially in the last seven years, and I trust that it will ultimately be recognized for what it is.

I’d like to complete my music projects if I can, and I hope I’ll be able to do that if my life is prolonged once again. But, I live each day knowing it could be the last for this body. I just try to keep in mind that God forgives me and will welcome me home when I leave this body, and I try to remind myself that I have learned some of my lessons very well. That's why I have not sought personal power as an official religious leader, nor have I sought the political power or official authority to make political decisions that affect people's lives. I reject the throne of worldly power, and I have not sought to be an orator who pontificates from behind a pulpit or dictates from behind a podium. That’s not what I am supposed to be.

In fact, it’s not what anyone is supposed to be now, and such displays of self-important egotism will diminish and eventually become non-existent. Our religions and houses of worship will be more peer-operated, without any pontificating from authoritarian individuals, and without any bigotry or exclusive sectarian interpretations of scriptures that alienate and mislead any group of followers with a superiority complex. Moreover, our governments will be truly of, by, and for the people. We, the people, shall rule, and I am merely a messenger who relays the message about how we may do that.

I seek only to express the truth as I am able, and deliver the written truth, because it is indeed the truth, and nothing but the truth, that shall unite us all, empower us all, and set us all free, and it is not the messenger that the world needs, but the message.